Survivors
October 2004The fall season is always a sobering month for me since this is the season of the beginning of my loved ones death. September was when he was extended because of the unrest in the world, his birthday is in October, November was the last time I spoke with him, December he went to the War zone, and he died in January. It's been several years but there's always a sting in the air about now. It's difficult to verbalize but it's there. I'm no longer numb (that's debatable, at times) but it's just a reality check that I have to accept. I've done many things to keep his memory alive, and to honor his service to our country, and also to enjoy the freedom that we've paid for and do so value. I have written a book, I have a small memorial garden near my patio, I have gone to many organizations and shared my experiences, there are trees planted in his memory, there's name plates in his memory at a local veterans park, etc... The list is endless. There's many events that has caused alarm and anxiety as to whether we should go out in public. Is it safe? Is it hanging onto the past? Is it a necessary part of my healing? I've just recently began reading some interviews of an ex POW from W.W.II in our local historical library that I find so fascinating. The trials he went through. He didn't die but he lives these events every day of his life. It has helped to shape his life forever. The ex-POW can share these events with tongue in cheek now but it's still so very real. I find it very interesting reading. I've encouraged everyone to document their experiences. It's not only healing, it's a part of history. Everyone has had a different experience which is why it makes your experiences unique. These ex POWs now do service to our community and beyond that is priceless. They have a larger bank account and so they help veterans home, they offer scholarships to young people, they help veterans in any number of very helpful ways, all because they've been there. Not often getting the recognition they deserve but still serving, nonetheless. These are the people that has been a very great support for me. Just being there, welcoming me when I need to just set and listen, or when I need encouragement to face another military event. And I do go out and share in these events with others in my community. It is a great support, it honors the memory of my son and I think it's healing to all of us to come together. I do choice the times I go out because it isn't safe out there. If I'm not at peace with going, I don't go. Carolyn is a contributing writer for 4MilitaryFamilies.com. | 
