Survivors
August 2005This morning I'm enjoying my patio and the nice weather, thinking of the freedom I've known since I cleaned house of things that no longer seem important to me, and since I got my puppy, Criket. Looking forward to a trip to camp this weekend for a couple days and a talk I'm to give at a high school about the "Cost of War!" My, I would never have thought I would be giving speeches. I certainly hope they don't grade me!! I'm not a speaker but I do enjoy sharing my heart and I find that very healing for all of us. I want to focus on the fact that we have choices. We can choose to be violent when we have anger or we can choose to express our anger in a less demonstrative way. Anger is certainly a part of the grief process. Life isn't fair but we do have a choice as to how we act and / or react. I finally found the opportunity I had been looking for to get a puppy. Criket is a seven pound dachshund now at five months old. He about has me trained so we are getting along very well. He is such fun, a lot of company, and has me on a schedule. I can no longer sleep around the clock like I feel like I would sometimes like to do. I decided to clean house a couple years ago and it's taking me time but I am cleaning out a lot of things from my past. Newspapers that I don't even know where they came from anymore, articles, magazines and old letters that was taking up space. They were wonderful at the time but I have moved on now to the point that I can clean house. I was totally amazed at the liberation I've felt since I cleaned house. I'm presently reading the Barbara Lewis books. This is about the Amish people around Lancaster, Pennsylvania where families actually live together, they talk to each other, there are no telephones or television. They cook, bake, work, farm and till their gardens together. They actually have their own individual lives but also have the support of their families. It really dates me but I have found these books to be very refreshing. Realizing they are fiction but there are some real lessons to be learned, as well. Last week, I had my second cataract surgery and I'm getting along great. I was a bit apprehensive because my mother is blind in one eye after her surgery. I listened to all the negativity and was a bit anxious for the first surgery. However, my eyes are so much more clearer now. I'm totally amazed. I don't have to wear glasses now but I do believe the doctor will give me corrective lenses next week when I see him as the eyes do not focus the same. I don't have to deal with the glaucoma that my mother does and she's also 85 years old so there really is no comparison. Why do we put ourselves through these anxious moments rather than realizing we are in the best of care? Enjoy the beautiful weather. We all need the sunshine in our hearts. Carolyn is a contributing writer for 4MilitaryFamilies.com. | 
