Survivors
August 2003It's summer for shore. My but it's nice to spend time on my patio in late evening and enjoy my flowers, the bird houses, the birds singing, the neighbors, the grandchildren, and just the beauty of God's earth. Right by my patio is a memorial to my loved one that I see everyday and think good thoughts. Seeing the lives lost in the war is like an ache I can't quite explain and it's so deep I can't quite reach it. It seems to be beyond me. The pain and the loss of these young men - husbands, wives, daddies, mommies, and grandpa, too. Most are young but I know veterans who were Prisoner of War Veterans and Disabled American Veterans and I know they, too, relive their war experiences as they watch the War with Iraq unfold. But I've just somehow been able to pull myself up and decided that I wanted to enjoy my life. It's taken me a while to be single again. But I am blessed to have good health, and even though my state is still down sizing their employees, I'm praying my job holds out long enough for me to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life, besides retire. This is the first time I've worked out in the public and, even though I found it to be a real challenge, it was probably the best thing I've done for myself in a very long time. I really did love my babies when I had Day Care in my home as I was raising my children but those days are history. Children do not have the respect that they once had for adults or even for themselves, and I found it to be very taxing as I got older and so it was time for me to change careers. However, I remember the time I was too scared to go into the lunch room at a large hospital to find where my co-workers in my part time job were eating. I now go into the office singing, "Here I come, to make your day!!" I went back to the office from supper one night last week and called out, "Honey, I'm home!!" Another co-worker and I do this and, I'm sure, everyone just rolls their eyes. Of course, it could have a different meaning to day. . . That's telling my age. It's just that we feel we live at the office so much of the time. I've been stretched more in the past ten years than ever before in my life but I find I'm more secure today, more settled, happier, healthier and more at peace with myself than I've ever been. That should be a goal for all of us, don't you think? Carolyn is a contributing writer for 4MilitaryFamilies.com. | 
